_t_r_w_n_b_t

they boast about their cold intellect and their disregard of ethics for the greater good of collecting information. but they are hypocrites and inter-organisation agitators. the idea that they could completely detach themselves from their emotions in their line of work is laughable. the investigation regarding the mansion opened up the cracks in one junior member in particular; whilst we were gathering together our instruments and apparatus as we were leaving, i noticed C in the master bedroom. she took something from a chest of drawers and placed it in her pocket. [this is not altogether strange behaviour. sometimes the junior members of the group will claim an item they think they can fence without the seniors finding out.] but this incident was different. i decided to follow her home after the debriefing. she didn’t know i was watching her when she did something unexpected – she paid a visit to someone who had been under surveillance when i’d joined the company for the first time. he was tagged as some sort of shaman, or possibly even a conduit, but the surveillance ceased on the basis that he was nothing more than a trickster and an ex-con. [i’ve never been sure about their conclusions however.] she wasn’t there for long, and once she left i decided to chat with the shaman myself. he was surprised to see me, remembered me, and treated me with the same unknowing respect with which he always had. he gladly showed me what he was still holding in his hand – an amulet. my concern is that C is going to use this item to practice some form of magick; but for the good or the bad of the company? i am unsure. i think i’ll discuss this with her before too long though; before i quit at least. - P

	Time Left Until Suicide: 2016-2-2 00:00:00 GMT+00:00
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1221617741
i’ve tried persistently to contact the shaman, but received no answer. i’m giving up for now. i feel insanely close to ending my time here. it is by no means the first time i’ve felt like this, but i’ve never felt this close to the edge about a specific individual before. it usually has to be something somewhat great in order to conjure such thoughts and fancy, but this occasion is different. if she were still alive, she would not have guessed quite how much she means to me. but i didn’t even know how much she meant until she killed herself. now i shall drink and drink until i fall blindly into whatever darkness will take me. i cannot remember feeling this pathetic. tired. waning.
1221688402
after the wake, i decided to skip out on work. i don’t usually miss out on a chance to be making some lucre, but this was different. i hadn’t anticipated that her death would affect me particularly, but it did. even in my new manifestation. when i heard the news that C had been found hanging, from a rafter, i felt sick. i have not felt this depth of emotion/contact before with regards to any person. i have tried to forget about it, but the image has somehow been printed, indelibly, on my brain. when i close my eyes she’s there. swaying. ever so slightly. eyes wide open. i’m going to talk to the shaman, if he’s still alive. i’m going to try to contact her. this is all for now.
1220317514
they boast about their cold intellect and their disregard of ethics for the greater good of collecting information. but they are hypocrites and inter-organisation agitators. the idea that they could completely detach themselves from their emotions in their line of work is laughable. the investigation regarding the mansion opened up the cracks in one junior member in particular; whilst we were gathering together our instruments and apparatus as we were leaving, i noticed C in the master bedroom. she took something from a chest of drawers and placed it in her pocket. [this is not altogether strange behaviour. sometimes the junior members of the group will claim an item they think they can fence without the seniors finding out.] but this incident was different. i decided to follow her home after the debriefing. she didn’t know i was watching her when she did something unexpected – she paid a visit to someone who had been under surveillance when i’d joined the company for the first time. he was tagged as some sort of shaman, or possibly even a conduit, but the surveillance ceased on the basis that he was nothing more than a trickster and an ex-con. [i’ve never been sure about their conclusions however.] she wasn’t there for long, and once she left i decided to chat with the shaman myself. he was surprised to see me, remembered me, and treated me with the same unknowing respect with which he always had. he gladly showed me what he was still holding in his hand – an amulet. my concern is that C is going to use this item to practice some form of magick; but for the good or the bad of the company? i am unsure. i think i’ll discuss this with her before too long though; before i quit at least. - P
1219883191
i had another meeting but i felt uncomfortable with the group this evening. they were asking many different questions about the paper i submitted to the archive four days ago. it was detailed with the experiences i had whilst i was looking in the house in the old town. [my advantage was in having prior knowledge in the field of spontaneous combustion.] the room had not been touched for slightly over twenty weeks and any evidence that would have led to conclusions should still have been there. i didn't find much though. but what i did find intrigued the group. a small amount of gunpowder residue was present within the grooves of a wooden frame that hung above a fireplace. but the fireplace was bricked over, and the wooden frame housed nothing. - P
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